Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs. [b]

Aik admi apni biwi ko dafna kay ghar ja raha tha kay achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui
dukhi aadmi bola:
Lagta hai pahunch gai [b]

Saqib enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it.
Wife observes the whole episode
Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this?
Saqib replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly [b]

Customer : Bhai kab se wait ker raha hoon khana abhi tak tayyar nahi howa?
Hotel Wala : Sir kahana tu 3 din pehlay se tayyar hai bas gharam ho raha hai [b]

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday. [b]

A man was interviewing for a job. The interviewer said, "In this job we
need someone who is responsible."

"I'm the one you want," the man replied. "At my last job every time
anything went wrong, they said I was responsible." [b]

keep it up

A new Bihari lecturer was unable to control the class. The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him.

So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he did not know how to put it in English..

He went near the guy. Shouted 'follow me'. The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted 'Do not follow me' and went inside the class.. [b]

Girl: If you will try to kiss me main shor macha dungi

Boy: Lekin yahan to dur tak koi nahi hai.

Girl: I know per formality to karni hi paregi [b]

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy: It is very kind of you, darling, But I do not have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that is because we are not married yet. [b]

Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg! [b]

very nice