An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 p***engers on board, but only 4 parachutes.
The first p***enger said, "I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player; the Lakers need me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first pack and left the plane.
The second p***enger, Hillary Clinton said, "I am the wife of the former U.S President, a Senator from New York, and a potential future president. I am the smartest woman in American history, so America's people don't want me to die." She took the second pack and jumped out of the plane.
The third p***enger, John Kerry, said, "I'm the Senator from the great state of M***achusetts". I am also going to be my parties nominee for President. So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped.
The fourth p***enger, President George W. Bush, said to the fifth p***enger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country well, I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."
The girl said, "That's okay. There's a parachute left for you. America's smartest woman took my schoolbag.